Hi Ben Langhinrichs .

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Roundabout" . this is the second of two reviews I needed for the Game of Thrones event. Happy coincidence that your WDC anniversary occurs this month.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

  Overall Impression. You are the kind of writer I aspire to be--one who may foster a significant presence in one style of writing, in your case poetry, but branches off into other styles and genres. And it's to your penchant for poetry that I pen this review.

Your title piqued my interest. Being a product of the 70's, my first thought was the hit song Roundabout from Yes. My next step was to the growing number of traffic roundabouts springing up in the local communities in south-central Missouri. Renting a car while visiting France some years back brought roundabouts to the front and center. I liked them.

Of course, your roundabout is a bit more stylized, and perhaps rightfully focuses on the intersection between two people communicating. That I did not see coming.

You wrote a three-stanza poem with an a-b-a-b rhyming pattern and a meter that felt comfortable. While I've written a fair number of poems during my years here, I've never really felt completely at ease with writing poetry. I really enjoy experimenting with the many varied forms of poetry, but never with a free verse form. Thus, I tend to read poetry out loud. That's how I know I felt comfortable with your offering.

Using conversation as a roundabout analogy seems inspired to me. I see such a conversation in a new light; indeed, I've spoken with people who I shall never see quite the same again.

Other than my small note below, I can offer nothing to improve your parley.

  Technical and Editorial Considerations. I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing here--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

          I have to wonder if you meant to say 'let' instead of 'left'.  Others never left us be  

Favorite Part. How often have I felt this way.

Lost the thread, and I was carried
off to miss our destiny.

My Rating. 5.0. 

Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .