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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748451
Review #4748451
Viewing a review of:
 Tough Thoughts Open in new Window. [E]
Telling of what I missed, fool.
by strlcuckoo Author Icon
Review of Tough Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoNette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello strlcuckoo Author Icon

I found this piece on the "Please Review" Open in new Window. page.

First impression:

The title along with the intro line tell me this is going to be an emotional item that will talk about a could have, would have, should have scenario - if life wasn't designed to get in the way of our desires.

What works:

The melancholy over missing so many milestone events in the life of a loved woman comes out clearly in the poem. The text is nicely separated by topic and each new stanza adds to the disaster of missing out on a whole life lived.

What needs work:

You only used two of the distinct genres. "Other" is non-descript and it's a lost opportunity to have your item found easier.

You could also consider giving this item an image for a thumbnail. StoryMistress has a huge library of those for our perusal. It would give your item some visual interest and make it more compelling to check out.

Final thoughts:

One thing that did not come out is why all of that life was missed. Was the narrator in prison? Away for work? Let the girl get away right after school? What was the cause for this woman who was so desired to make off with someone else?

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/28/2024 @ 8:52am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748451