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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748441
Review #4748441
Viewing a review of:
 You won the lottery? Now what happens? Open in new Window. [E]
Come have some fun and add a line to help write the rest of this story! Its up to YOU!
by AliceLvs2Write Author Icon
Review by NaNoNette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello AliceLvs2Write Author Icon

I found your interactive on the "Please Review" Open in new Window. page

First impression:

In your write up on the Please Review page, you ask for additions to your in and out. You should consider posting your in and out with the request on "Activities @ Writing.Com" Open in new Window. and "The Shameless "Plug" Page" Open in new Window. because those pages are not dedicated to asking for reviews. They are designed to help people find participants in activities.

What works:

You did a great job at choosing three genres that all combined with the title and intro line create a good bit of a backdrop to your story before it even begins. There is the promise of high drama and the need to keep things mysterious. The question: how would someone conceal a lottery win from their own family is sure to get the creative juices in the community flowing.

What needs work:

Someone added a line that goes well above the E rating that you chose and also demanded. I am not sure if you can delete it, but you should try.

Final thoughts:

Both the idea of hiding a lottery win as well as asking that the starting letter is the next one in the alphabet is a really fun way to create a cohesive story. I hope you get a lot of takers.

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/28/2024 @ 12:55pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748441