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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748424
Review #4748424
Viewing a review of:
 Wrong Place, Wrong Time Open in new Window. [18+]
A news reporter goes into a dangerous city at the wrong time. Word Count: 1,301
by John Johnny Johnson Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window., I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

I have no idea if this review qualifies for GoT or not, I’m just using the fancy template *Laugh*

First off is something minor and finicky: if you’re going to drop f-bombs, which is perfectly fine, the site prefers you to rate the story 18+.

Second, I spotted a bunch of little typos. I think you wrote too fast. You can run it through Grammarly to tidy it up. Here’s a quick example: "That's OK." She said needs to be “he.” Hmm, I see you’re actually fixing them faster than I can type this up! Good work.

A wild action story with just the kind of stuff we would expect. It reads sort of like a comic book; I can picture the aesthetic of something like that. You have the potential to make something more out of it, or you can leave it at this.

Size 4 Verdana font is usually recommended to ensure readability and compatibility across devices, but don’t feel bad, I say that to almost everyone on the site.

With a bit more character development or something of the sort, you could submit this to "SENIOR CENTER FORUM" Open in new Window.… they don’t require any prompts and they take anything under 2000 words. You could request a review from Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 Author Icon via his Crosstimbers Review Forum for advice on character arcs and “goals, stakes, obstacles.”

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 04/27/2024 @ 12:53pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748424