"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Tim Chiu

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Love's Spirit

First Impression: The poet idolizes love in this poem about romance and the love that follows in four quatrains in a free style form. What I'm feeling is a lot of wordy lines that take time to pull together.

What needs your attention:
I'll use this stanza as an example

Energy and stunning beauty,
Changing clues we cannot miss,
Swept away by breathless smiles,
Done with yearning, now we kiss!

Energy and stunning beauty
subtle clues we're unable to miss
breathless smiles are swept away
as yearning succumbs to a kiss

These simple changes give the poem a sense of movement between the lovers.

The third stanza is confusing and feels like the rhyme is forced to this reader.
What does the author mean dove the mist?
What does make pure love a fragrant twist?

Personally, the poem flows better without the third stanza into the fourth.

What part I liked best: I found the opening line inviting. The final stanza reminds the reader how sweet new love is and how everything looks different when we're experiencing it.

Overall impression: I made suggestions above what I feel helps and hinders the poem. Love poems show movement like the feelings between two people they shouldn't be an internal vocabulary battle which is what this reader feels the third stanza is.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .