\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748277
Review #4748277
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoNette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated:
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello Princess Megan Snow Rose Author Icon

First impression:

When I came to your portfolio to look for an item to review, I found this one right at the top. I was confused because it has "Review" chosen as item type. I saw that it was written for the Dialogue Only Contest, so I came to check it out as I had to write for the same contest, I wanted to see what you came up with.

What works:

The conversation had a lot of information in it. I assume you made up the fines for not paying $800 to the IRS. But on the other hand, I can believe that they would have unreasonable amounts of prison time for small financial infractions like that. The IRS is savage like that to people who aren't millionaires or billionaires.

What needs work:

You mention that this is a contest entry in the intro line and as a chosen genre. You could probably get more mileage out of the intro line and add two genres that are more descriptive than Contest Entry and Other.

Were IRS. *Right* Were should be We're as in short for "we are."

Final thoughts:

This story does drive home how the IRS has the power to legally steal everything that's not nailed down. Interesting observation about life.

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748277