"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Joy

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Creating Motion in Fiction

First Impression: It should say, dear Lyn at the beginning of the paragraph show don't tell. Your suggestions - "A practical exercise is to take an already written piece and circle all the sentences that can benefit from being shown and then re-writing the whole piece. Another useful way for the writer to find out if he is telling instead of showing is to circle all the adjectives and adverbs in his story. Afterwards, he can try to replace what is in those circles with dynamic verbs and sensory phrases that draw vivid pictures. " would also work in poetry as well. I find that true in some I've written that I need more dynamic verbs and less flowery adverbs and adjectives.

What needs your attention: Nothing, Joy. I should remove this line in your reviews.

What part I liked best: The suggestion of circling or in my case highlighting my verbs and descriptives to see if they can better serve me.
I hadn't thought about fluctuating the pacing from scene to scene, that would also work in longer poetry too.

Overall impression: Another well written article that should be plugged Joy. You have such great writing articles that are hidden in your port. A LOt of these newbies have no idea how great you are.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Review 6 of 10


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .