%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4747869 |
 | Things Forgotten  [E] Letters lost/1554 words  |
| (4.5)| Hi amyjo-Keeping it real and fun! , This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked ... The possibilities laid out at the end of this story really appealed to me.  This story leaves me feeling curious about what would have happened next, after the story ends? I imagined, if it were me, I would have had some serious words with Brad after he read my letters like that. Whatever happened to boundaries? But, then, I wondered what Callie would do. Would she tell Brad where to get off and go in search of Brian? Would she try to track Brian down online or some other way? Could this be a huge romance story? That could be a new story, in itself. I love how my mind is buzzing after reading this. When I first started to read, I kept thinking it would be really cool to find a box of old letters and notes that a loved one had kept. I love to look through things like that. The little things that make people who they are. I would have liked to know why Callie's grandma never gave her the two letters from Brian. What did she have against him? I also wondered whether Callie's mother knew about them? See? More questions!Suggestions: Just a few typo / Grammatical Suggestions. "'A clean house makes for a welcoming house.' she would always say." It should be a comma before the end speech mark, not a period. Also, "They were my letter ..." It should be "letters." Then, "She would call a moving company to put come put the furniture and boxes into a storage unit." This is a typo. You can take out the two words as I have shown. Finally, "You know, well need to start practicing ..." I think this should be we'll. Parting comments: I enjoyed reading this story a lot. You create great intrigue with the letters form Callie's ex boyfriend. It sparked my imagination greatly. I keep coming back to why her grandma would have withheld the letters. I guess I'll never know! Great work! Choconut    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.