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 Review #4747832 |
 | Grandma Hears a Joke  [E] Grandma eavesdrops with comical consequences.  |
| (4.5)| Hi Bikerider , This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked ... Your sense of humour really appeals to me. I found this work of flash fiction very funny. I love the title. It is what drew me to this item.  Immediately as we start reading, you tell us where we are by mentioning the, "wedding guest" chuckling. This is great because, with flash fiction, we have to give any information as quickly and concisely as possible (which is probably why I am terrible at writing it). So, straight away, your readers are guests at a wedding. You then give us the punchline to a joke, but you don't share the rest of the joke. I really like this. We can invent our own jokes out of this. But, the thing is, the contents of the joke are not the important parts of this story. The grandma and her reaction to it, and the ensuing farce, are what matters. Oh, my. I laughed at this. This description of the events is great: "In a gust of breath, her denture flew from her mouth in a perfect arc--right into the punch bowl." That had me laughing out loud., I could see it happening. I could also imagine the reaction of the grandma and her husband. This whole scene is exactly the kind of thing that would happen to my Mum's family. Grandma and Grandpa making a commotion and interrupting the wedding speeches is brilliant. I can imagine how embarrassed the closest family members would have felt. Grandpa's pink-tinted arm, once he has retrieved the dentures is funny. I wonder whether this was alcoholic punch, and whether Grandma might have been slightly tipsy after putting the dentures back in her mouth. Suggestions: Whenever you mention Grandma or Grandpa, you don't capitalise the Gs. Because, I assume, they are the narrator's grandparents, and he doesn't say, "my grandma," just, grandma, it should capitalised for the proper noun. Also, you have a typo here: "As she fit her teeth back into place, grandpa took she took his hand ..." Firstly, took shouldn't be there. Also, I think it should be Grandma, not Grandpa. Parting comments: I am so happy I came across this delightful flash fiction today. It has given me a much-needed laugh. Choconut    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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