"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Ruby_MyDear

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: You Want To Know What's Beautiful?

First Impression: There's something to be said for that kind of love, it doesn't happen to everyone and the lucky ones long for it. I hope the author is one of the lucky ones. I wasn't the first time but I am now with my second husband. There's something to be said also for the second time around.

What needs your attention: In the title Whats should be What's because you're actually asking what is.
In the third stanza this line slows the cadence or pacing in your poem: When they ignite something in your soul, and the fire consumes you.
The author could easily shorten it to When that someone ignites your soul, the fire consumes you.
Same thing in the fourth stanza they are the diver, swimming deep below into the darkness to gather you up.
The author could say they're the diver swimming into the darkeness to gather you up.
We know its deep because of the word diver which implies depth.

What part I liked best: Love shared emotionally and physically over time may have different perspectives but always value the other is priceless. I love the image of two people rising together and help when the other falls.

Overall impression: The poem defines a special love, the kind we all long to have in our lives. I suggested a couple of minor tweaks to help the pacing when the poem is read out loud.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .