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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747377
Review #4747377
Viewing a review of:
 Celebration! Open in new Window. [13+]
A Political Satire...Sort of...Maybe?
by Angus Author Icon
Review of Celebration!  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.! *Dragon*


Hi Angus Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reviewing your offering "Celebration!Open in new Window..

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer, and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

*Note1*
Overall Impression. And here we are in another election year. I have to wonder at the wisdom of have a fairly major election every two years. I say fairly to denote a non-presidential election. That doesn't count all the state and local elections. I think people are electioned out, if that be such a thing.

Your piece is a satiric look at the outster of Donald J. Trump as leader of the New World Order. The celebrations explode much like the fireworks overhead. The people have spoken and are happy. I wonder about the date mentioned in your story. Does that represent the approval of the election results? You wrote this essay on 5 Jan 2017, a date that may correspond to such an event.

You add a disclaimer at the bottom, which I suspect is to placate anyone who supports the other side. I think that alone says more about the state of society today that just stating this essay as Satire is not enough.

Honestly, I think in my mind there's no doubt that Trump actually sees himself in this ultimate mode. That would be catastrophic. One can only hope folks exercise their right to vote and do so as a vote for democracy. (My mini-rant.)

All I can say is the 2024 election is bound to be an interesting one.

*Writer*
Editorial Thoughts. I found it interesting that you use a small child to ask about whether the Wall will be torn down. I wonder why you use her to make your point.

I understand the use of the disclaimer. But may I suggest you set it apart a bit more by changing the font and size; the color helps but as a reader I initially thought it a part of your essay.

*Exclaim*
Technical Considerations.I found no problems with any of your grammar and punctuation. Well done

*Thumbsup*
Favorite Part.  “There never was a wall. And there never will be.”

*Star*
My Rating.  4.5.

*Heart*
Thank you for sharing your offering.

Reviewed by

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