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 Review #4747270 |
 | Shy of Tomorrow  [E] Short story for Earn Your Upgrade contest.  |
  This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, Quiltingmama!  Overall Impression:This charming and heartfelt story captures the essence of romantic nervousness and personal growth. The narrative is engaging, drawing the reader into the emotional highs and lows of the MC's feelings. Title and Description: The title reflects the central theme of the story—shyness and the anticipation of future interactions with a love interest. However, the description could be stronger. While I appreciate many people using the description box as a labeling mechanism to keep their contest entries straight, I find it more effective to use it in a similar fashion to a book blurb. This helps entice the reader to dive into the story. Hook and plot:The story hooks the reader from the outset with a relatable scenario in a library setting, grounding the romantic elements in everyday life. The plot unfolds smoothly and logically, depicting her internal struggle and evolving emotions as she encounters her interests. The pacing is good and balances the description and dialogue well. Characters and dialogue:The character interactions are charged with a mix of awkwardness and attraction, making their dialogue entertaining and realistic. Grammar and Mechanics:The story is well-written, with a strong setting and relatable characters' emotions that do not overwhelm the reader. Some minor editing for sentence structure could further polish everything up, but it didn't affect my overall enjoyment of the story. Final Thoughts:The journey from self-doubt to self-acceptance is handled with sensitivity and understanding of human emotions. The ending leaves the reader with a sense of anticipation and hope, making it a satisfying and uplifting story. Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo   My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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You responded to this review 04/23/2024 @ 2:26am EDT