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 Review #4747232 |
 | The Ticket  [ASR] A satire on people who play the lottery.  |
| (4.5)   You are receiving this review of {item:} in connection with {item:"Game of Thrones" There's nothing quite as good as a lottery winning story with a happy ending. As I read I was sure the ticket would not be found. She said, “I just told my boss what he could do with all those un-cleaned shot glasses! My sister’s picking me up. We’ll be over in an hour!” Reading this dialogue, I was sure the narrator would soon be in big trouble. I took this as a sort of foreshadowing that the ticket wouldn't be found. I saw the humor in calling the psychic line, hoping the worker could help locate the ticket. That was a great example of show vs tell to describe the narrator's desperation. I especially liked the part of the story where the narrator called the lottery office and offered to take a polygraph test to prove he had the ticket but misplaced it. I joined in the employee's laughter when I read that. One item that could benefit from your further attention: “Listen I misplaced the 240 million dollar lottery ticket. You have to tell me where it is before my wife comes home.” I asked. “Sir if you misplaced a 240 million dollar lottery ticket, then you also misplaced your brain along with it.” “Listen Miss I can’t believe I’m paying five dollars a minute to speak to you! Closed quotes are missing from the end of the dialogue. Also, you have two people speaking in the same paragraph. Each speaker should be separated into their own sentence or paragraph. Well-described and interesting story. When the ticket turned up, I took a long breath of relief along with the narrator in the story. I live in a state that runs a lottery, Florida. There have been times when they announce there has been one ticket with the winning numbers, and three months later no one has claimed the millions. I've often wondered how many times a tourist on their way home stopped for gas and bought a lottery ticket for fun. Forgetting they had the ticket, or not knowing how to check for the winning numbers, I'm betting there have been more than a few millionaires who have not claimed their fortune. Nicely done. Bikerider This review has been submitted to "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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