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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747202
Review #4747202
Viewing a review of:
 The Watch Open in new Window. [E]
A watch found at the antique shop leads to a discovery of lives well lived.
by Nanapockets Author Icon
Review of The Watch  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

That was an interesting story! I clicked on it because the brief description sounded intriguing. I’ve never found a watch with an inscription, but I picked up a few old books going back to the early 1900s which had the names of the owners written on the front page, and I’ve always wondered who they were. Never done anything about it though, unlike you (I assume this is a true story). You went to great lengths to discover who the watch belonged to, even asking your writing friends who like nothing better than finding a good story. And the story you eventually found out was a good one, even if it didn’t have a particularly happy ending. It seemed like the two people had a good life anyway while they were together, but it was sad that Ruben died so young.


*PenG* Suggestions:

There were quite a few small errors in this tale. It’s not a new story so I don’t know if you are still interested in editing it, but if you are, I would recommend running spellcheck to pick up the typos. I also noticed two sentences where there seemed to be a word missing: working as a nursing student in Louisville and take it out just to show. It was a good story and you told it well, and the errors let it down a little so I would suggest giving it a bit of an edit.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I liked the ending, when you found someone who actually remembered the previous owner of the watch and could tell you something about them. It’s nice to think that although the people were pretty much forgotten at that point because only the cousin still remembered them, some of their story now lives on.




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   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 05/21/2024 @ 5:34pm EDT
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