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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747118
Review #4747118
Viewing a review of:
~I'm Coming Home~ Open in new Window. [13+]
*Winning Entry* Weekly Flash Fiction, : "I have no regrets"
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
Review of ~I'm Coming Home~  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon Review


Storyline: Whoa. I am still shocked by this flash fiction short. I was hooked right away as her husband gave up so easily and left her all because she couldn't give him physically what he wanted. What a bum. Fate of course stepped in, as it has a tendency to do and gave her something in return for her heartache and sorrow.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: No issues

Description/emotion: Good job showing the accident as the rain came down. Miss Riveria works quickly to extricate the child from the crashed vehicle and then she makes a monumental decision right there and then. The parents have died in the wreckage, who will look after the child? It's funny that the husband had her prepared for emergencies by keeping a flashlight in the car, and when she used it, it would be for something he desperately wanted.

Overall Impression: I didn't expect that outcome, though I should have I suppose. It's not like you weren't leading the reader there. Being that close to Mexico, it's understandable that this was her chosen route. Who would question that the child wasn't hers? No one really. Three years and she holds no regrets which means it was the right decision for her. Customs didn't even second guess her coming into the country on foot, with a strolled and small child.




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