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 Review #4746346 |
 |  | ghost; defined  [E] Living alone, where no one knows you and you don't know anyone.  |
| (5.0)| Hi Fivesixer  This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked ..Every. Single. Thing.  I hope you know (because I'm sure I've told you before) how much I love your poetry. It is the kind of poetry that reaches right inside and gives your heart a tweak. And I love poetry that does that. So this poem really appealed to me. Your writing is so rhythmic and lyrical. It's kind of like a song, with the internal rhymes that are divine and the indents on certain lines, informing us how to read the lines. I only cottoned on to this playing with the whole form in the last couple of years, but when I see it in other people's poetry, it makes me happy. Even though this poem is actually really sad. When I read your poem, it feels like it is written to be spoken aloud. It has a natural rhythm that really works. Which brings me on to the content. What a keen observation of society and how singletons are viewed and treated by those in couples. When I split from my ex, and before I married my hubby, my family all whispered to one another that I must be gay and closeted. Simply because I was in my thirties and single. Except for when they didn't notice me at all. Which was a lot of the time. But, that's my mini-rant over. I think the most poignant line, for me, is "Living in a shape." Wow. That feeling that you are nothing, you're insignificant. Even worse, you're invisible. Only the shell which carries you around. That line evoked a strong reaction in me. That's my favourite line. Another great line is: "You're a light / disbelieved." Also, when you when you write that you're living in a shell of self, " ...a blanket / of clouds shroud you out" is fab. I love the rhyme of "clouds" and "shroud." Suggestions: I don't have any, I'm afraid. I honestly think this is perfect as is. My only suggestion would be to get this published, but you've done that already! Parting comments: I don't normally gush like this at unsuspecting individuals, but after reading your poem, I had no choice. I am very happy to have reviewed you today. Choconut   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/19/2024 @ 11:09am EDT