"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Gaby,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Wishful Illusions

First Impression: Interesting foreshadowing with the scene in the kitchen with his Mother that something strange was going to happen.

What needs your attention: But with that said, the reader has no concept of the time that trasnpired until we're in the tavern with Jace which you did provide after the net scene break. Consistency works.
In the next scene break where we join Trisha again is this the same night that Brandon insisted he join him at the tavern or another.
"Tell that to Trish, old man. Tell that to her," he chuckled This feels redundant I think just the first one tell that to Trish, old man he chuckled.

What part I liked best: His determination to find out about the woman in his mind despite he was with Miranda. The silent interrogation made me chuckle. I do that a lot when I'm trying to resolve something.

Overall impression: It's a fun story concept but there are some jumps with the setting and the time frame that distracted my reading. It needs some tweaking for me.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Plugging away. I'm going to be more familiar with your port than my own.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .