"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Brittney

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Single Red Rose

First Impression: This was an emotion story from the eyes of an eight-year-old boy named Shane who believed his birth mother didn't want him because somehow he wasn't good. Sadly, children do believe that.

What needs your attention: The only suggestion I would make is to make better use of your white space. When the lines are close together the reader feels like they have to keep reading versus pausing to consider. Like especially where the dialogue is.

What part I liked best: The Mom's being willing to find his mom and once they did discovering she was dead. And following through by giving him the opportunity to see her grave. Dead in a child's mind isn't always the same as an adult. The graveyard vist was nicely done and gave the little boy and the reader closure. Nicely done.

Overall impression: This was a thought-provoking story from a child's point of view. The author did an excllent job in staying in the child's voice. Hopefully this writer comes back to WDC and offers more writing for us to enjoy.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .