\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745786
Review #4745786
Viewing a review of:
 Normal. Happy. Healthy Open in new Window. [E]
A short story. Perhaps a part two in the future....
by Temperance Stone Author Icon
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Temperance Stone

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Penw* Positives

This story beautifully captures the internal monologue of a woman reflecting on her life's journey from youthful exuberance to the mundanity of middle age. The juxtaposition of her past and present selves is poignantly depicted, and the use of the sensible shoes as a metaphor for her perceived dullness adds depth to the narrative.


*Penw* Suggestions

While the story flows well, I think it could benefit from more dynamic elements in the middle sections. The daily routines, though essential for setting up her epiphany, might be condensed to make way for more interactions or flashbacks that reveal her character's complexity and desires. Additionally, the introduction of Mike at the end feels a bit abrupt. Developing his character earlier in the story, perhaps through subtle encounters or mentions, would make his confession feel more integral to the narrative rather than a sudden development.


*Penw* Overall

This short story successfully delivers a message about rediscovering one's zest for life and challenges the inevitability of a mundane existence. It resonates with anyone who might find themselves reflecting on past choices and perceived normalcy. With a bit more balance between the protagonist's internal reflections and external interactions, this story could offer a more rounded and emotionally engaging journey. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745786