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Review #4745785
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Acting on Principle Open in new Window. [13+]
A man decides what his life is worth in the face of an Alien Invasion.
by KingsSideCastle Author Icon
Review by . . . Jeremy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello KingsSideCastle

You are receiving this review of "Acting on PrincipleOpen in new Window. in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

*Gem* Areas of Strength

*Bullet* The protagonist's character development is a standout aspect of the story. You effectively portray his internal conflict and growth, which adds depth and relatability to his journey. For example, you show his initial reluctance to get involved in the resistance: "I was not about to give my life for a lost cause. Even if it meant being a slave... I would still get to live." This establishes his cautious nature and sets the stage for his eventual change of heart.

*Bullet* The tension in the story is well-crafted, particularly in scenes where the protagonist interacts with the resistance and confronts the Nomad guard. The buildup of suspense keeps the reader engaged and invested in the outcome. For instance, when the protagonist decides to intervene to save his friend, the tension is palpable.

*Bullet* The story effectively explores themes of courage, sacrifice, and freedom. The use of the Nomads as an oppressive force and the resistance as a symbol of hope adds layers to the narrative. This is exemplified in the protagonist's final act of defiance, where he sacrifices himself to buy his friend time to escape.


*Gem* Areas for Improvement

*Bullet* The story's pacing could be improved, especially in the beginning. The initial paragraphs provide a lot of background information about the conflict between humans and Nomads, which can be overwhelming and slow down the narrative. For example, the detailed explanation of the war and the Nomads' arrival could be condensed to maintain reader engagement. Integrate the background information more seamlessly into the story through dialogue or the protagonist's thoughts. Show, rather than tell, key aspects of the conflict to keep the pacing brisk.

*Bullet* Some of the characters' motivations could be further developed for greater depth. For instance, the protagonist's decision to join the resistance feels somewhat sudden and could be better justified within the narrative. Additionally, the Nomad guard's motivations for his actions are not fully explored, making him feel more like a generic antagonist. Provide more insight into the protagonist's internal struggle and the events that lead to his decision to join the resistance. Similarly, delve into the Nomad guard's perspective to add complexity to his character and motivations.

*Bullet* The dialogue and interaction between characters could be more dynamic and expressive. While the story effectively conveys the plot, the dialogue sometimes feels flat and could benefit from more emotion and depth. For example, in the scene where the protagonist confronts the guard, the dialogue could be more impactful to heighten the tension. Focus on creating dialogue that reveals character emotions, motivations, and conflicts. Use dialogue tags, gestures, and facial expressions to enhance the interaction between characters and make the dialogue more engaging.



*Gem* Overall Impression

Overall, the story presents an intriguing premise of humans resisting alien occupation, with a protagonist who evolves from a passive observer to an active participant in the resistance. The narrative effectively builds tension and conflict, especially in the protagonist's internal struggle and eventual decision to take action. The story's strength lies in its thematic exploration of courage and defiance in the face of oppression.

The pacing at the beginning is a bit slow due to the heavy exposition, which could be streamlined to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, some character motivations, particularly the protagonist's and the Nomad guard's, could be further developed to add depth and complexity to the narrative.

the story has great potential and could benefit from tightening the pacing, enhancing character motivations, and refining the dialogue to create a more immersive and impactful narrative. With some adjustments, the story could become even more compelling and resonant with readers. Keep up the good work, and continue exploring these rich themes and characters!



*Snow2*          *Swords*          *Snow4*          *Swords*          *Snow2*


Let your imagination run wild.

Set your creativity free.

We are the Free Folk.

And we do not kneel.


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DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed within this review are the sole product of the reviewer. They do not necessarily reflect those of the group, activity and/or event in which they are affiliated. Any implementation of suggested edits is at the sole discretion of the piece's writer; they may be used when and where deemed necessary by the writer of the piece and/or disregarded in their entirety. The reviewer releases any and all rights and/or claims to those suggestive edits should they be utilized by the writer of the piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 11:53pm EDT
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