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Review #4745769
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Skip Open in new Window. [E]
A young boy needs his dog. Writer's Cramp Winning Entry
by Merry IE Author Icon
Review of Skip  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Merry IE

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..


*Penw* Positives

Your story is a heartfelt depiction of a young boy's love and determination to find his lost dog, capturing a simple yet profound human experience. The narrative is well-paced, with clear, crisp descriptions that immerse the reader in Barney's world—from the texture of the neighborhood to the emotions swirling through his mind. The dialogue is natural and effectively conveys the dynamics within Barney's family, adding layers to the characters through their interactions.

The emotional payoff at the end, when Barney finds Skip, is satisfying and well-earned. It taps into the universal fear of loss and the joy of reunion, making the story resonate with readers of all ages. The tension built up through the search, especially in the unfamiliar and somewhat menacing environment of the dump, heightens the stakes and makes the resolution more impactful.


*Penw* Suggestions

While the narrative is effective in its simplicity, there could be more depth in exploring Barney's emotions and reflections on his relationship with Skip. This could add a layer of complexity to the story and enhance the emotional depth. Additionally, the buildup to the discovery of Skip could be expanded to include more sensory details and interactions between Barney and his father during the search, deepening the reader's investment in their journey.

The scene at the dump could also benefit from a bit more atmospheric description to heighten the sense of suspense and uncertainty. This would not only enrich the narrative but also increase the contrast with the relief and joy of the eventual reunion.


*Penw* Overall

This story successfully captures a slice of life that is deeply human and universally relatable. With a bit more exploration of the characters' inner worlds and a richer atmospheric buildup, this story could leave a lasting, profound impression on the reader. Nice job!


Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing PhilosophyOpen in new Window.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 11:15pm EDT
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