Review of A Milky Way Wonder

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745760

Review #4745760

Viewing a review of:

A Milky Way Wonder

[E]
Sonnet type poem
by Maryann

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4745760

Review of A Milky Way Wonder

Review by tracker

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

Hi Maryann,

Congratulations on your 22nd WdC Anniversary. I first met you when joining Super Power Reviewers. In honor of your big day, I am doing an anniversary review of "A Milky Way Wonder." Yes, I am affiliating it with SPR.

Overall impression: Your presentation is awesome. What fun to see the animated swirl of stars. The blue text and alternate font style make this piece memorable. Your poem matched the excellence of your presentation.

I enjoyed the swing of the rhythm while eagerly reading the active verbs, whirl & twirl, flutter & flit, and majestic spray of the Milky Way. The imagery was a heady experience. I did not count syllables or look closely at the poetic elements. When I like a piece, I like it for the overall impression and how it makes me feel. How did it make me feel? Dizzy from the movement which felt great.

I read it out loud and think it may be fun to experiment with removing some extra filler words. It may give it even more pop! "They twinkle, they dance, they flutter about" could be "Twinkling, fluttering all about." Another could be from "Like glitter and wondrous magic throughout" to "Glittering, wondrous magical route." Just a thought. For me, I stuttered, just a smidge, when I bumped into the word and. This is one of your favorites, best not to fix something that is not broken.

It is only my opinion. It is clear as it stands now is right on target. The five-star reviews reflect that. I will add my five stars to it. You have a wonderfully full lively portfolio. I enjoyed looking around with so many items to choose from. Thanks for your out of this world poem and for all you do for our great community!

Write on!
tracker