\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745719
Review #4745719
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon Review

Storyline: Tim is planning to visit his sister on Saturday and give her a box that belonged to their mother. At first, the sister is excited about this, but as the days pass in between, it slips to the back of her mind. Once Tim is there, he brings the box to her to go through. She looks things over, only to discover an alter cloth wrapped up in the corner of the box.

Spelling/Grammar/ Issues:

It didn't change anything

I wish that your main character had a first name. It's harder to make a connection without one.

Description/emotion: I could picture the candle holder, the box condition, and the wooden figurines as she went through the things. The box stood out as she examined its age, the dust, and the warped flaps of the cardboard. Her excitement at seeing the alter cloth, and that because it was hidden from sunlight and other elements it was in pretty good condition. It was sad to know that she lost her mother at a young age, but cool that her older brother hung onto things for her.

Overall: So, on some level, she knew she was a witch, following in the footsteps of the women before her. Though she may not have known because someone told her, instinctively she was drawn to it. I didn't see that coming as the story unfolded.




The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

My signature for GOT 2024
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745719