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Review #4745698
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Turn From Here Open in new Window. [13+]
You are drawing too near
by 👼intuey Author Icon
Review of Turn From Here  Open in new Window.
Review by JayNaNoOhNo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!


Hello, 👼intuey!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
The poem paints a stark picture of isolation and disaster, melding the beauty of a solitary existence with the grim realities of maritime safety.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
The poem adheres to a traditional rhyme scheme that aptly suits the narrative, enhancing the storytelling's structured flow. The largely consistent rhythm does well to evoke a sense of the lighthouse’s relentless routine and the catastrophic events that unfold. However, there are a few spots that could be smoother. For example, "He did not realize, he had no legs at all" doesn't need the comma, and it interrupts the transition during the poem's climax. Reading the poem aloud can help catch these small things that have an outsized impact (and I know I am the worst offender for this!).

*Checkb*Content:
The poem progresses from briefly introducing the couple's life to the detailed and tragic unfolding of the shipwreck. The narrative arc is clear and compelling, capturing the couple’s helplessness and despair as they fulfill their duties only to witness the inevitable tragedy.

The poem is emotionally powerful, exploring themes of duty, isolation, and the inevitability of fate. The story's weight is carried through both the setting and the empathetic portrayal of the couple, making the reader feel deep sorrow and helplessness.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
I had no concerns other than the comma and punctuation items I mentioned earlier.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
The lighthouse and its inhabitants, traditionally a symbol of safety, are rendered here as a stark reminder of the limits of human effort against nature's might. Excellent work conveying such a heavy theme with clarity and impact.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

JayNaNoOhNo Author Icon*Smile*


My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/04/2024 @ 2:02pm EDT
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