\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745663
Review #4745663
Viewing a review of:
 The First Day Open in new Window. [E]
A tooth fairy endures learning on the job and on the wing.
by SandraLynn Author Icon
Review of The First Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Jayne Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Image for Activity


This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!



Hello, SandraLynn!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
The story delivers a delightful peek into the whimsical misadventures of a tooth fairy with plenty of charm and humor. It presents a sequence of mishaps that beautifully capture the trials of a beginner in a fantastical role.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
The title perfectly matches the narrative's core, setting the stage for exploring beginnings and first-time jitters. The description works as intended and informs the reader of the premise, promising a tale filled with the unique challenges of being a tooth fairy.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
Your ability to intertwine everyday human experiences, like losing one's belongings, with the enchanting duties of a tooth fairy creates an imaginative and relatable narrative. The plot unfolds with a series of engaging episodes that highlight Orthodontia's struggles and learning moments during her debut. The initial mishap serves as an excellent hook, immediately drawing readers into the chaotic world of a fairy in training. The story's pacing is well-managed, with each new challenge introducing fresh humor and tension, keeping the reader invested.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
Orthodontia's character is wonderfully crafted, embodying the enthusiasm and fallibility of a rookie. The lack of direct dialogue works in favor of the story by focusing solely on the main character.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
Your narrative is vivid and immersive, with no glaring errors.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This tale is not only a joy to read but also resonates with anyone who has ever faced the daunting and often unpredictable nature of a new job and well done on creating a narrative that is as instructive as it is entertaining.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne Author Icon*Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.



The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 5:50pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745663