\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745620
Review #4745620
Viewing a review of:
 The Forever Dream Open in new Window. [13+]
A man is caught in the grips of a nightmare
by W.D.Wilcox Author Icon
Review of The Forever Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by SandraLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
 
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon
"Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: The Forever Dream
First Impression: Whew! You describe quite the tumultuous dream sequence. This lives up to its simple title. The dream repeats on a continuous loop. This is definitely not the type of dream a beloved parent may wish upon a child. There's no sweetness whatsoever.
What needs your attention: Nothing. I cannot suggest any edits, or corrections.
What I liked best: This is a dark, terrifying, inescapable nightmare. The pace and the descriptions emphasize this. "It seemed the night itself was pressing against me like a living creature." That sets a foreboding tone and a dismal picture. The night is not inanimate, but reactionary. I have seen tress that could be categorized as 'colossus.' So much better than 'large', or 'tall'. I like the impressive verbs that describe the narrator's attempts to escape, "scuttling, scraping, hitching and humping." I can feel the struggle. "Some trees were so heavily veined with termites that the wood looked leprous." That is fantastic imagery. The first person point of view fuels this story and pitches it along especially in the turbulent water. The struggle seems real and violent. The dread builds and never ceases. The large, black font lends itself to this story's theme, too. The descriptions of the splintered and smashed trees further supports/reiterates the non-stop bleak nightmare. No matter what the subject does or doesn't do he returns to the same damaged trees and the same cold river. Repeat, react, repeat, react.
Overall Impression: This is one powerful , horrific, frightening, repetitive nightmare of desperation and futility. Cue the thundering, ominous music. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
(1934 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 6:27pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745620