"The Darkest Sky" [E] "The Darkest Sky" |
Hi JCosmos! I absolutely loved this story! I thought the title added to the mystery and suspense found inside. After I read it, I kept thinking that I would love to see THIS in movie form. I think it would really make a great movie because here we have a great story already. I would suggest redoing the brief introduction when you get the time. Instead of simply repeating the title, maybe you might writing something that provokes curiosity, such as, Is the Earth prepared? Another thing that I would suggest thinking about changing is this part: "Quickly dubbed the doomsday asteroid. Everyone looked up at the doomsday asteroid." It could maybe be something like, ...'Everyone looked up at the treacherous wonder.' Other than that, I felt your story was a provocative masterpiece. It provokes thought about what might happen if one day, we all wake up and there is something perilous threatening the planet from above. The unknowing would cause extreme anxiety. As you mentioned, people could speculate aliens, and, well, impending doom, as in your title. I liked how you stressed the point that in an event such as this, the entire world would come together as one. They would have to! Enemies would now be allies. The US would be joined by Brazilians, Chinese, the EU, Koreans, Japanese, Iraqis, Iranians UAE, and Israel,. Indians, Pakistanis, Russians, Saudis, South Africans, Russians, and Ukrainians, even the North Koreans. You made this all sound easily believable and impressive. I would have needed to do a bit of research in order to name all of that! Nicely done. You gave good closure to your story, in my opinion. In the end, while the world watched, the crisis was averted and the asteroid was blown away. The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. -Write on!
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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