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 Review #4745493 |
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| (4.5)| Hallo Elizabeth  ! I will be reviewing your work "Invalid Item" for House Targaryen on behalf of "Game of Thrones"  Content: Originally written for the Writer's Cramp contest; this is a poem that tells of a woman's life in a post-apocalyptic world. Pluses: I enjoyed the rhythmn and rhyme of this one; not easy to do especially when you're trying to tell a cohesive story from start to finish. Your use of imagery is also well done as seen from the very first line: The snow falls upon her head like a halo of white. and in the fourth stanza: Under a darkened sky of the volcano's tears. As stated earlier, this is a poem with a story - as we follow this girl who appears to be hunting but at night. You say 'eternal night' and 'it's been years since she's seen natural light', so we can only assume that she lives in a time when sunshine/light is a luxury? Perhaps due to the volcano's eruption, the entire world darkened for some reason? Technicalities aside, we also have the problem of strange creatures that now inhibit the earth; and it's obvious that these creatures are not your average bunnies. These are called 'nightwalkers' and in a bid to survive, she has to fight these strange beings - something she's had to do for fifteen years. She's no longer got family, as father and brother were lost with the volcano's eruption and mother was killed by the creatures. Truly a horrific way to watch your family disappear before your eyes. Yet, she soldiers on and continues to try to live each day with her mother's song as an inspiration within her heart.   An interesting premise for the poem - and I'm curious as to what the prompt was actually - and a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing, and keep on writing!   Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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