Hi Bryce Steffen .

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Where The Ocean Comes Through" . I'm also submitting this review for "Game of Thrones" 

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

  Overall Impression. Seventeen years--that's quite an accomplishment. Congratulations for 17 years of writing and supporting Writing.Com. Best of luck with your writing journey.

What a thought-provoking offering. I really enjoyed reading about the Man and his exploits. I believe each of us wants to be master of all he surveys, to be able to shape the world around him. I suppose in some small way I did just that by creating and installing hundreds of custom kitchens over the past 32 years, several for myself.

I must admit the various (and extensive) listing of geologic stones used to make the mud was impressive--I even remember some of them from a Geology course I took in college MANY years ago. Then using them as someone from thousands of years ago might in juxtaposition with a diver from present time seemed inspired. As if the more things change, the more they stay the same. Well, for me anyway.

Perhaps Man forgets the past at his own peril. But survival is evolving. Staying in one place without change is no way to live. Yet forgetting is not an option either. Well, it may be an option ... but it's not a solution.

Do we die if we stop living? I mean stop moving forward. And when you think about it, the world is three-quarters Ocean, a location we've barely tapped. What might we learn by returning to the ocean?

A final note, I'm not sure what you expected when you penned this offering. But you can see where it took my rambling thoughts.

  Technical and Editorial Considerations. I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing here--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

          And on a technical note:  Please consider double-spacing your paragraphs. Reading from a computer screen, especially a cell phone screen (which I hear a lot of folks do), is easier with more white space to break up that blob of black characters. It's an easy edit fix under Advanced and Paragraph Spacing in the edit window.  

My Rating.  4.5. 

Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .