Hi PureSciPlus -

This is a "Game of Thrones"  review for House Martell.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I needed to do some reviews for the Game of Thrones challenge so I went to the "Please Review" page.

My opinion of said story/poem: The premise is good. The setup is okay, but bogged down by too much detail. The delivery is drowning in excessive explanations.

You may want to refer to author Anton Chekov who famously said, "Don't tell me the moon is shining: show me the glint of light on broken glass." This quote refers to "showing" not "telling", allowing the story to ignite the readers' imagination, not to bore him with information.

I am not the person to help you with this, I fall into the same hole at times. A good place to start would be "Tales Shown, Not Told Discussion Forum" . Don't be afraid to ask for help, there are plenty of people there and elsewhere on Writing.com that would be more than willing to help.

The ending has a nice twist. The characters have some development, as with most minor characters. The two detectives need more character development to set them apart.

I found nothing else wrong with this little story. It has the potential to be a longer story, if you want to put in the work.
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Conclusion: No spelling errors to trip the tongue. The action keeps moving forward, creating a good pace. Like I stated already, it has potential, it just needs some work.

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .