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 Review #4745318 |
 | Worm Moon  [13+] Writer's Cramp - 4-25 Contest  |
| (4.0)| GAMES OF THRONES POEM REVIEW This is a review for "Worm Moon" from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  THE STORYWhen a red quartz relic is found, Miss Harris is on the hunt to find out where it came from and what it was used for.  WHAT I LIKEDI liked the ending, because I was totally lost and the ending gave the vinyettes context.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the third person omniscient in 3 vinyettes that tie-in together. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThere's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately. DESCRIPTIONSThere's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "As you know, during a total lunar eclipse, the Earth moves between the sun and the moon and cuts off the moon's light supply, the sun. When this happens, the moon's surface takes on a reddish glow instead of going completely dark." - it's a very succient description of a lunar eclipse that's easy to understand and visualize in the reader's imagination. SETTINGTIME: ancient times and modern day PLACE: college setting and outdoors This is something that is clarified for the reader. CHARACTERSMiss Harris is the main character In that she does the research to offer a viable theory for the red quartz.  MECHANICSI did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for WDC tags. Currently: 100,000 years font:verdana}older than the I would correct the tag. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSI think the title fits with the theme of the "moon" but I would clarify how worm fits in the story. The opening engages the reader. I enjoyed how the vinyettes came together in the end. Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen  }
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You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 5:45am EDT