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Review #4745027
Viewing a review of:
 The Forever Dream Open in new Window. [13+]
A man is caught in the grips of a nightmare
by W.D.Wilcox Author Icon
Review of The Forever Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by Lovina Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi W.D.Wilcox -

This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review for House Martell.

*Staro**Starw* The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and /or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. *StarW**StarO*

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I chose this particular piece because of the title and description, very intriguing.

My opinion of said story/poem: Where do I start? I liked it a lot, an unexpected little gem. Definitely not the direction I thought you were going though. It's more like a neverending nightmare instead of a forever dream.

The descriptions are great, making it feel as if you are there with him as he tries to escape and, ultimately, wake up.

There is one spot, when the raft began to fall apart and you "grouped heavily for the logs", dare I assume you meant "groped".

I know you probably had a word count limit, but, now that that time has passed, maybe you want to elaborate on the last two sentences. I'm curious as to why they would think making another raft to escape is a good idea, one they don't even discuss. And two, the last sentence could use some of those excellent descriptions in keeping with the rest of the story. Just a suggestion.

Conclusion: I found no spelling errors (besides the previously mentioned) to trip the tongue. The descriptions and action kept a good pace, keeping the reader attentive until the end. Well done!

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina

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