Hi Keaton Foster -

This is a "Game of Thrones"  review for House Martell.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I chose this particular piece because the title caught my attention as I was perusing your port.

My opinion of said story/poem: Great setup and delivery. There are only a few mistyped words I want you to know about -

In the second paragraph, you have "even through retirement", I think you meant "even though retirement".

In the sixth paragraph, you have "She from Tampa", you may want to insert an "is" in there.

When Detective Franco is sent to the airport, you have him searching the plan, I assume you meant "plane".

In the following paragraph you have "call me of the radio", you know what to do here.

And, just before the big discovery you have, "remains in the blood", you may want to change "in" to "is".

A lot of these types of typo's can be caught by reading your piece out loud. They are minor glitches, but they can cause the reader to have to stop and reread, which, in turn, disrupts the flow of the story.

Reading out loud will also help with those pesky commas. I have issues with those myself, so I feel your pain.

Conclusion: I did not see that one coming. I should have seen that, I usually see these things a mile away, but not this one. Well done!

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .