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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744911
Review #4744911
Viewing a review of:
 ONE SIDED LOVE: a sonnet--Editor's pick Open in new Window. [E]
What happens when the lover is too shy.
by Dr M C Gupta Author Icon
Review by Jayngle Bells Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!


Hello, Dr M C Gupta!

*Checkb*First Impression:
The poem is a universal experience of unrequited love and should resonate with many readers.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
The poem adheres to the 14-line sonnet requirement, and I believe it follows the appropriate traditional rhyme scheme. While I did not put the poem through a syllable counter, I believe the rhythm varies from iambic pentameter on occasion. While it does affect the rhythm and flow, it doesn't make the poem difficult to read.

*Checkb*Content:
You've done a good job of presenting the theme in a relatable way, which makes it accessible to a wider variety of readers. It has a philosophical tone to it, exploring the themes of prospects, nostalgia, and the harsh reality of unreciprocated feelings. The last two lines effectively summarize the lessons learned and provide a type of "moral of the story" ending:

Too late, I did this simple lesson learn:
If we don’t throw a ball it can’t return.

The theme of action is emotionally compelling, and the loss of love due to inaction can very much result in a grief response.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
The poem is well-written and contains no glaring errors. Punctuation is used appropriately to guide the reader through the range of emotions and delineates shifts in tone and pacing. The way you've written it avoids any conflicting messaging or wording that would distract from the emotional impact of the message.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
You've captured the essence of a sonnet and provided a timeless overview of love, loss, and regret. Your straightforward style makes for a strong conclusion and a poignant poem overall. The conclusion should resonate with readers and create a memorable reading experience.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayngle Bells Author Icon*Smile*


My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.


The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/14/2024 @ 11:45pm EDT
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