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Review #4744558
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window., I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Good grief, what a story. I wasn’t sure what kind of twist to expect, but the boss cheating that girl was a new one. She knows her stuff, alright. And you know yours pretty well, too, I might add. We can tell you’re a fairly experienced gamer from the details of what you’ve written. A subtle hint at racism in the remark about the name Raul adds realism, and basically it’s quite a realistic story except for the revelation at the end. The story has all the essential elements to keep us interested: “goals, stakes and obstacles” are a mantra I like to throw around. We watch impatiently for the boss’s reaction to the improved game, chuckle at Vern’s naïveté about his new relationship, and our jaws drop by the end.

I don’t have much to offer in the way of improvement here. It was a fun, gaming themed story that was somewhat out of my own league, but tastefully written.

Formatting is good… I always recommend a word count either at the top or in the subtitle for reference so we know if we can read and review in one sitting.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/20/2024 @ 4:12am EDT
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