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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744524
Review #4744524
Viewing a review of:
 The Equation of Destiny Open in new Window. [E]
Originally made for a class assignment and decided it was too funny to not use.
by Monster V. Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window., I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

An amusing parody of what happens when one “thinks too much,” particularly about physics and complex mathematical equations. I love the tongue in cheek tone, casually tossing a skeleton into the dorm room (from biology class, no doubt *Wink*) and then spelling out the whole mind numbing equation for us, with magical effects. The “…” are somewhat jarring, as we usually expect dialogue of some kind to be contained within quotation marks. I did something similar once and was told “cute, but no,” by a well-respected reviewer around here. You have to try to express what it is that’s being expressed.

My usual formatting suggestions are as follows:
~ Word count at the top so we know what we’re getting into
~ Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices
~ Adding two more relevant genres helps people find your item when browsing and also gives more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would recommend “Experience” or “Satire” or “Scientific” or “Sci-fi.”

Aside from these minor points, I don’t see anything to modify here. You might want to submit this to a contest or two, perhaps "SENIOR CENTER FORUM" Open in new Window. would be a good choice.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/14/2024 @ 4:46pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744524