"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Sorji

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Train

First Impression: What a great metaphor about how oblivious humans can be in their daily actions. We're so tunnel-visioned on our needs we don't see the path of destruction we've created. Good use of the villanelle's style to tell the story.

What needs your attention: I can't think of anything I would change other than the category of supernatural. I'm not sure your poem fits there. I would choose adult, or experiences.

What part I liked best: Ignorance and avoidance spilled forth stanza is really powerful. It encourages self-reflection. It also reminds the reader that the author sees it all.
I also thought the desolate tracks reminds us that we may feel alone but in reality the carnage of our actions will be there too.

Overall impression: The pacing of your poem was like the train as well charging ahead making the reader feel the momentum as well as see the damage humans create everyday without a thought of the recourse. Good word choices to drive in the message.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? There's a lot of poetry contests here on WDC. I think you should enter your work and get it noticed more.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .