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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744348
Review #4744348
Viewing a review of:
 health care advice   [18+]
5 Methods for Practicing During Sensitivity Season
by husam
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, husam !

This health article of yours was featured in my "read & review" section and I enjoyed it so I decided to give you a review to welcome you to Writing.Com. I hope you benefit from this review and find it encouraging and uplifting. I also hope you enjoy your time on this site. It is a wonderful community of writers.


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
*Bulletg* I thought this was a great health article. You did a great job. Well done! *Clap*

*Bulletg* You kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end. Well done! *Clap*



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

*Bulleto* I deal with asthma and am very allergic to dust so your health article was keenly interesting to me. Thank you for writing it and sharing it here!


*Bulleto* I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to shower after coming in from exercising in dusty or high pollen conditions. Thank you for the reminder. Getting back to doing that might help me a lot.


*Bulleto* I appreciate all the research you did and facts that you shared. Despite having seen a few allergists and read many previous articles on the topic, I learned some interesting things from reading your article. Like this: "For most plants, the higher the temperature rises, the higher the dust creation." It makes sense, but I didn't know that before (or forgot, if I did). I think you uncovered some unique, helpful information.


*Bulleto* Your five areas to consider are well-thought-out and well written.


*Bulleto* Your article was interesting to me, and made me want to read your next one.



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:
In the spirit of helpfulness, I have a couple of little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you! *Clap*

*Bulletb* I personally think that this sentence would read better as two sentences. Right now, it looks like this: "While anybody who invests energy outside will be presented to their area's specific allergens, exercisers frequently feel their belongings all the more harshly, authorities on the matter agree, in light of the fact that they breathe in higher dosages." If you accepted my suggestion, I would split it like this:
"While anybody who invests energy outside will be presented to their area's specific allergens, exercisers frequently feel their belongings all the more harshly. Authorities on the matter agree, in light of the fact that they breathe in higher dosages."

*Bulletb* And in this section / area, I think maybe there is just accidental extra space. Right now it is two separate sections, but I think it should be one.
This is what it looks like now: "At the point when you train outside, you can't keep away from allergens altogether, yet you can restrict the sum by practicing either in the early morning


or on the other hand the afternoon, when dust counts are many times lower and dampness can pack them down."

And, if you accepted my suggestion, here is how it would look after I combined them (I also added a comma before the "or":
"At the point when you train outside, you can't keep away from allergens altogether, yet you can restrict the sum by practicing either in the early morning, or on the other hand the afternoon, when dust counts are many times lower and dampness can pack them down."



CONCLUSION:
*Bulletv* You wrote a helpful and informative health article. Well done! *Clap*

*Bulletv* Thank you for sharing your time, research, thinking, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler




Super Neat Present from Super Power Reviewers Group. Thank you, Maryann and everyone!




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