\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744137
Review #4744137
Viewing a review of:
 
Detecting the Detective Open in new Window. [ASR]
Just who is under investigation? Contest Entry
by Richard ~ Thankful!! Author Icon
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Richard ~ Thankful!! Author Icon

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* The mystery of this story is my favourite thing. What is happening with technologies and machines? They appear to be taking over the world. Banding together and forming a kind of task force. At the moment, that task force works for the good of society, preventing crimes from being perpetrated. We meet Lieutenant Bob Porter, a man who is puzzled by the things he is witnessing. In the story, we enter as the lieutenant is speaking to a couple whose auto cam, "Gigi" prevented an assault and potential kidnapping in an alleyway, is the latest bot to think and act on its own instructions. While I could understand why Emily wanted to keep her saviour near to her, I also thought I would have wanted to find out what was going on. Although, I guess that would have meant taking Gigi to pieces, so I can see Emily's point of view.

*BulletR* You lead on nicely to Porter's own auto bot. It orders Italian food from the restaurant he normally goes to and gets the order right. Plus, his car automatically takes him to collect it. That is a little bit freaky. At the very end, we see the home entertainment system asking Porter what questions he has for them. This feels very scary, to me. I don't have the feeling the machines mean him well. Especially, as he is following the trail of what is controlling them.

*BulletR* I like your humour. The part where Porter is interviewing Greg and Emily and Emily is complaining about using the alleyway, Porter thinks, "Casting a sympathetic look at Greg, Porter knew this poor guy was going to pay for this for a long time." This made me chuckle.

Suggestions: I have a few grammar suggestions, which I have put in a dropnote so you can read them at your leisure. If you wish.
Grammar Suggestions



Parting comments: This is an interesting story. I enjoyed reading it, although the idea of technology being taken over is a pretty scary one. Even if it seems to be for the good of everyone.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744137