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 Review #4743996 |
 | Clandestine Services  [ASR] Let's get out of here! Daily Flash Fiction Challenge entry.  |
| (5.0)   This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, Jeff!  Overall Impression:This was a fun twist on a heist/espionage story. Title and Description: I love the title, and it's great that you included both a description and the contest information in the description box. Hook and plot:We're dropped into a narrator telling us it's a clandestine operation after the janitor's gone home, so yes, hook planted and curiosity piqued. But as the plot unfolds, it takes a comedy turn. The shift from suspense to comedy is well-executed and genuinely funny, leading to a satisfying resolution for the reader. The structure of the plot supports its pacing and tone, making for an enjoyable read. In terms of genre, this is a light touch on mystery; it definitely fits into the comedy framework more easily. But I'm the one always telling people to pick three genres so people can find your work, so I guess I can't say too much more than "good job!" with that one. If you have the word count or the time, having your characters a minor obstacle (even something as simple as a locked door somewhere) could help play up the suspense and give your characters more room to chat and build their characters. Characters and dialogue:The characters have enough details for the size of the story, and their action and limited dialogue make sense and provide levity during their 'very serious' mission. It's a good contrast between the more experienced 'operative' and the less experienced novice. Again, if you have the word count or time, adding a bit more back-and-forth banter could help differentiate their personalities a little more. Grammar and Mechanics:There are no problems in either area. Final Thoughts:This is a nice piece of lighthearted entertainment and a great comedy story. Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo  My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer, and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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You responded to this review 04/12/2024 @ 12:19am EDT