Hi Sandra Lynn! I enjoyed reading your fun story. Congratulation in having it win a prize in the contest.

Ah what mothers go through to make their children happy. The narrator wanted her daughter to have a wonderful birthday party. A girl doesn't turn five more than once after all!

I liked the way you set the action going right away in your first paragraph, offering a good hook to your story. I could picture the scene from your descriptions of the party atmosphere. The narrator had been looking around at the balloons, the banner and the cake. I liked how you casually get your readers to see the room through the person's eyes, rather than just simply write about it. The little details such as that is probably what the judges of your contest also noticed. and appreciated.

Your story had a real feel to it, as many little girls love unicorn themed parties. I'm glad you added comedy into the list of genres, as the mom running around trying to make things nice for the party, while little sister is innocently messing things up seemed comedic.

Such a fiasco! The birthday girl was letting her friends in who were at the front door, and the mom was in the kitchen, attempting to fix the cake which had been sabotaged played with by the younger sibling. I thought it was adorable that Alex knew what happened.

If I have any suggestions, it would be to leave space between your paragraphs. It's not easy to read a story which consists of one big block of small print, especially for people who don't have the best eye sight. Leaving space would give your story a more polished presentation.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .