\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743459
Review #4743459
Viewing a review of:
 Surprise! Open in new Window. [E]
What can be better than a day on the golf course?
by JACE Author Icon
Review of Surprise!  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Kit's Contest and Awards G...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi JACE Author Icon,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a fun story about an unusual birthday. Definitely one to remember. Your wife and your family are very creative!

Like you, my birthdays mostly consist of getting a favourite meal, though I'd get a few presents. Nothing that made for a very different day than any other day, however. Not even for the milestone birthdays. I can imagine, then, your complete surprise when you came home on your 40th birthday.

There you were, out with your friend, playing some golf, not knowing that behind the scenes all manner of schemes were being plotted. I smiled at how you felt a little indignant your neighbours hadn't invited you when you saw all those cars. However did they think up that game with the trees? What was on the cards? And the presents are funny.

Your birthday was a lot of fun to read about. Thank you!

Suggestions:

I only have one small suggestion, dear author:

Paragraph 12:

*Snow2* Turning around and I saw no fewer

I don't think that you need the word 'and' here.

My Rating:

This is a fun biographical piece. It gave us an insight into your life with a family who obviously love you very much.

I had one suggestion, but it's only tiny. I will still give this the 5-star rating it deserves.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

House Lannister image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743459