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 Review #4743312 |
  |  | ~I'm Coming Home~  [13+] *Winning Entry* Weekly Flash Fiction, : "I have no regrets"  |
| (4.5)| Hallo Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ ! I will be reviewing your work "~I'm Coming Home~" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: Written for a flash fiction contest, this is a short story that tells of a woman's spontaneous, and rather bold, decision to make one of the biggest changes of her life. Pluses:It's never easy to pull off a complete - as much as possible - story with just 300 words, but I think you were able to do a good enough job here. The prompt was 'I have no regrets', which was used quite well with the story. It starts off with setting up the scene; the mood is sombre and full of misery, thanks to the narrator's feelings of depression over the loss of her husband. His note, by the way, was quite rude. If any man is able to write all that over something that's probably not her fault, he isn't worth it. As our narrator continues her journey, a flash of lightning exposes something rather strange in a ditch. It's a wrecked car, and though she's under no obligation to investigate what happened, our narrator chooses to go help those who might be in need. Unfortunately, she discovers that the adults are no longer alive, except for the shriek coming from the back seat where an uninjured, but clearly frightened, baby sits. Protecting the child as best she can from shards of glass, our narrator makes the sudden decision to leave the border with her new precious gift. Now, while many might question this decision as I'm sure relatives are bound to ask questions or seek for the missing child, the narrator chooses not to look back as she prepares for a new life in a new country. Gutsy move. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. This was written quite some time ago, so I doubt you'll want to revisit it, all the same, should you choose to do so, I'll encourage more expansion on the woman's decision to take that baby away. I realize it's a 'gift' of sorts, but repercussions have to be considered especially as the child grows up and begins to question her origin.    Overall, this was a poignant tale that makes you think. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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