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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743055
Review #4743055
Viewing a review of:
 Date with a Proctologist  [ASR]
Making appointments
by Joy-the Harpy Witch
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Tulipp* Greetings, ! I am reviewing this because I discovered this on Read & Review. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* What I Liked


         *Bulletv* What an adorable little story! *Heart*

         *Bulletg* Okay, so I had to look up proctologist. *Blush* So I learned something new today. *Wink*

         *Bulletp* This is well-written and kept my interest. Your characters (especially Max) were well-rounded, feeling like normal, everyday real people.


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         I found no typos whatsoever. *Smile*

         My only stumbling block is... Hadn't Max and Laura exchanged several phone conversations previous to the business seminar? So when Clarice (aka Laura) says, "Let me get your phone number and I’ll call you after my daughter leaves.” Wouldn't his phone number seem familiar to her? Just curious. *Wink*


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts


         I really enjoyed this!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/09/2024 @ 11:14am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743055