\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743034
Review #4743034
Viewing a review of:
 Sky watching Open in new Window. [E]
Observations from below
by pinkMauve Author Icon
Review of Sky watching  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Dragon* This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.! *Dragon*

Good Morning pinkMauve Author Icon

A good metaphor about birds and stars and the daydreaming of both things. Kind of romantic, which I think is your intent. When your truly part of someone love it can magical, and something we want to share and express in some way and you've summed that up in this, wondering as you walk why your both so different but together.

Suggestions.

marvelling correction marveling

The lines are small and straight to the point and I feel this could free form poetry like this:

I was watching the sky as I walked
Marveling at the sun.
A couple of birds caught my eye– some greedy little seagulls– flying round and around
In perfect circles they explored the limitless sky
I thought of us.
They never met, not once, but they flew around each other in a strange sort of dance
I could almost hear their laughter as I watched from below
I thought of us


I enjoyed this, and hope my review was helpful. Thanks for sharing a special bond.
Spooky, Cute & staiNed Author Icon


disclaimer
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered I by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Good day!


House Targaryen image for G.o.T.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/09/2024 @ 11:36am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743034