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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742777
Review #4742777
Viewing a review of:
 I Don't Exist When You Don't See Me Open in new Window. [E]
My first attempt at poetry in decades. Don't laugh.
by Scarlett Author Icon
Review by Beacon's Anchor Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hello! I found your poem on Read & Review. I'm with the "The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window. I enjoyed reading it and I hope you find this feedback useful.




My impression of this piece:
First, I want to say, I like the way you're poem was written because it reminds me of my life right now. This poem made me think about my own relationship. The author gave me an insight on how she's feeling about her loved one. I'm sure it's not easy to say how you feel, if the other person doesn't listen to you.



Grammar and Spelling:
When I was reading it, I didn't see any spelling or vocabulary errors. Just make the font a little bigger and center the poem.



What I really liked:
I like this part because it makes me wonder when the guy will ever love the woman or not. When I read this part, it reminds me of my life and the relationship, I'm in right now. It hasn't been easy for me to keep silent on how I feel inside because I've always been out spoken.

He makes me feel like I hang the stars and moon,
That our own home, built of love, will happen soon.

When I saw this one, it made me think of the woman's freedom and she wanted a taste of it and see how it feels to be free. I read this part and it made me think of my life right now.

I will have a taste of sweet freedom again,
I will break away from this worn out refrain...


Suggestions:
There are none but just keep on writing and never stop.


Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Well, my thoughts on this poem has me think of many things that took place in my life, even now and I have felt trapped because I don't have what I need or want in life. You're poem really spoke to me and I realize there are so much to explore and I would like to travel someday. That's what you're poem reminds me of a woman wanting to have freedom.


Thank you for sharing
Beacon




Disclaimer:
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 6:38pm EDT
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