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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742701
Review #4742701
Viewing a review of:
 Gilda's Roses  [13+]
What do the roses hide?
by Prosperous Snow celebrating
Review of Gilda's Roses  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Gaby ~ Way behind!
"Game of Thrones Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: Gild's Roses
First Impression: Wow, this is a surprise something! It begins innocently enough with a man watering roses and progresses to a spontaneous murder. With the tight word constraint you wove a believable scenario. You did not require a plethora of words to weave your sordid tale. The scene, the characters and the conflict race with the building action. The conclusion is a shocker, too. Bradly is no stranger to murder and the disposal of a body. The motive for his drastic deed does not need to be spelled out, the hint is more than good enough. He cannot risk anyone seeking his deceased wife.
What needs your attention: It may well be just me, but I think the word 'bury' and its derivatives are repeated too many times in the final paragraph. Is it 'aught' or 'ought'? Other than that nit-picky point I see no need for editing, or changes. This short story stands alone.
What part I liked best: You hinted at how long poor Gilda has been dead with your opening words and included that clue within Bradly's actions of watering the same roses for "ten years" and you plant the motive as being an 'argument.' With a few well chosen words you supply the when and the why. The how is still a mystery, but perhaps the sedating of the Navy brother is a possible option. Kudos for revealing Bradly's psychopathy. He seems harmless enough busying himself with gardening and maintaining the roses for so many years. he has successfully fooled his nosey neighbour Mrs. Jones for an extended period of time.
Overall Impression: Great mystery/ suspense story! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. {1859 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/08/2024 @ 11:59am EDT
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