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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742674
Review #4742674
Viewing a review of:
 The Smiling Rabbit Open in new Window. [13+]
The key to any successful dungeon party is trust.
by Fraught-With-Safety Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window., I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ok, my first thought as I read this is “this won the Writers Cramp?” I didn’t find it particularly appealing to my own personal tastes at all. Bleh.

But enough of the subjective! You wrote with strong visuals and engaged all our senses, building a fantasy world as good as any other out there. We don’t have any further details than what we need to move along this particular moment; the goal of what exactly they were trying to accomplish is left unexplained to focus on the deception and the variety of colorful and peculiar characters. My favorite was the big green giant who wanted to hang out with the trees; I had a lot of sympathy for him. I chuckled at the diversity of the bunch, including a lady monk, who is pretty much nonexistent in actual history. I’d like to see more with those characters, actually… I think it’s just the piddling details of the dung in the city and your chosen vocabulary that put me off at first.

Which reminds me, if you’re going to use the word sh*t it needs to be rated 18+. I’m no ratings police, but I like to let people know before a moderator does. Also, you can add two more relevant genres to the item. I would recommend “Drama” and “Folklore.” Adding genres helps to increase visibility when browsing and adds more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award.

Thanks for sharing , take care and keep writing!

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/07/2024 @ 10:57pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742674