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 Review #4742569 |
 | The Curse of the Candy Corn  [13+] Winner. It was always left long after Halloween, even after the saltwater taffy.  |
| (4.5)| The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. This is being reviewed for
  Howdy! I'm reviewing this as a part of my requirement to review 2 things from a yellow port along with 2 other late GoT starters, so you'll be getting 3 reviews of this item. BTW, I chose it for us to review.  I see you've been here since 2011 and this was written in 2021. Any reason why you didn't fill out more genres? Really! Genres are so important to fill out! While it's too late for "The Quills" now, if this was nominated in 2021, you could have only won a Quill for the poetry category it was nominated for and for Best Comedy. No matter how obvious it is that something belongs in another category, if the author didn't include it, it doesn't go. You missed out on 2 other potential Quills.  Mind you, not EVERY category gets Quills, but Other definitely doesn't.  Another reason to use all 3 genre spaces is that genres are the #1 way people look for something to read (according to SM). Thus, you're losing 2/3 of your potential audience by listing only 1/3 genres.  But note that people don't search for Other or for Contest Entry, so don't use those.  You might want to consider Cultural. Food/Cooking is an obvious one. Holiday is another obvious genre you could use here.  I love your description! I love that you tell us this was a winner and I love that you not only say that it was the last stuff left, but "even after the saltwater taffy" which I also always left.  Great work!!You say this is set to the tune of The Unicorn. I'm not familiar with this song. I'd recommend both including a link to a YouTube video using the "embed" tag and saying who the song is by so we know what to look up in case your video isn't available in our location. This is such a fun and hilarious poem/song! I absolutely love it and am so glad I found it! The only line I'm unsure about is " We’d fill our bags and pillow sacks but to our great scorn." If this was a story, it's fine. But I feel like I lost the cadence of the lines when I got to this one. Since I don't know the tune, I can't take off stars if I'm right. But it doesn't seem to flow like the rest, even when I read just the 3rd lines, which I assume should all go together when it comes to their rhythm. The other thing I question is calling it sugar porn. I thought sugar porn (or any other kind of non-porn, porn) was something good that you really wanted/loved. To me, that's the opposite of what you mean here.  Oh, wait, and IDK if you can use "porn" with an ASR rating.  I'd say that 1 word makes this at least 13+, if not 18+. You should at least change the rating, if nothing else. I see 13+ says, "There may be mild references to sex..." so I think 13+ is okay. Also, I just realized as a Mod, I can (and should) change the rating. Consider it a service so you don't have to. I really enjoyed the sort of trip down memory lane as you mention different types of candy, some of which I'd long forgotten. Thanks for that! This was a wonderful piece! I really am glad I found it! So fun! Thank you for sharing it! I didn't make many suggestions, but those that I did, remember that this is your piece, so if you find them helpful, feel free to make changes. If not, ignore my opinions because they are just that -- my opinions. But I do stand by my opinion that this is great! I'm happy I got to read it! You're such a wonderful writer! Thank you for sharing your gift! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You last responded to this review 04/07/2024 @ 12:29pm EDT