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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742383
Review #4742383
Viewing a review of:
 Batter Up!  [E]
What happens when you cross a bat with a wasp’s nest?
by JACE
Review of Batter Up!  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
A simple and somewhat predictable story of kids running amok in the good old days. I see it’s most likely autobiographical, and I admire your forthrightness in writing something of the sort for a flash fiction item. Yours is the only one I’ve seen today that wasn’t part of a larger item to hold all the GoT stuff that’s presumably going to accumulate over the month…good heavens, this is turning into a long month!

You’ve set the scene well for us, showing us the houses going up and the wasp’s nest in the bush. I held my breath as Mikey came so close to getting stung to death… I hope Pete wasn’t stung too many times, since he ended up being the one without the shirt. A quick tale of friendship and foolishness that suits the prompt well. Yours is one of only two today that aren’t about dragons, which I find refreshing… sometimes it seems as though there are just too many dragons on this site *Laugh* But whatever. I have no suggestions for anything to change here; you could do with a couple extra commas, but I never fuss about that.

Thanks for sharing and have fun writing!

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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